A Day in the Life of a Trash Can

Hey guys, sorry I haven’t posted anything in the last months. From now on, I guarantee at least one post per week, Saturday. Enjoy this story!


Greetings, peasants. I am the King of one of the many things you, as humans, cannot live without. I am King of the trash cans. This is a day in my royal life as I rule from the corner of Buckingham Palace. On that day, I simply sat around until Buckingham Palace was open for tourists. I couldn’t move around after all, and why would I want to? How much closer can you get to royalty? I was looking forward to breakfast when the tourists were let in. When you’re a trash can, meals are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. Especially, if you get a box of chocolates.


I really liked my breakfast of discarded scones, but then, I’m okay with almost anything. As I was happily enjoying my breakfast, a guy threw a near empty water bottle into my mouth. The only thing I will not tolerate is the disrespect for nature, and to me, by failing to properly dispose of recyclable goods. I literally blew my top. I opened up my lid, and I angrily ejected the water bottle. As it arched through the air, the remaining water spilled out, soaking the obnoxious scum first, followed by a tap on the head from the bottle. Served him right, waste recyclable material in other trash cans, but not me, not the King.


As I was sitting there, someone threw a lit cigarette into me, and all of my contents caught fire! I was panicking, not for me, for my bag, it was plastic, and would poison some innocent tourists if it burned! I looked around frantically and saw a cement truck over the wall! I fired my flaming contents into the cement truck, and the flames were extinguished by the cement. What a relief, my bag didn’t burn, and the atmosphere was a little safer to breathe.


When dinner came, there was the biggest event of all. I was getting dinner, when a little kid walked by, and dropped a toy firetruck into me. It then started to cry loudly, and bang its fists on the ground, and before its parents could stop it, it had climbed into me and was digging around my contents! I had no idea what was going on at all, so I did the one thing I could think of, I spat out the toy fire truck. Its parents caught it and said, “Here, we have it, come on out,”. They picked it up and put it down next to me. With that, they walked off. No comment there, I have no idea what happened.


So, peasants, though I have had many days in my life, and will have a lot in the future, this was by far, the most eventful yet.


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