Bad Ideas

1. Take a vacation to North Korea
2. Hug a bear
3. Invade Russia in winter
4. Invade Russia in winter (This was such a historically proven bad idea that it needed to be included twice.)
5. Pour blood on a person with telekinesis (Especially when they’ve had a bad life already and they’re a hormone-filled teen)
6. Do anything that begins with the phrase “Watch this!”
7. Mention Bill & Ted to a Doctor Who fan
8. Do a Force Choke a Trekkie
9. Do a Nerve Pinch on a Star Wars fan
10. Baptize a cat
11. Click on the first ad you see on a random site, click the first ad you see on that site, and do so over and over
12. Deliver all of your presidential speeches in Valley Speak (unless you want to lose, in which case, go for it!)
13. Feed a banana into a fax machine
14. Give a mouse a cookie
15. Give a moose a muffin
16. Give a pig a pancake
17. Give Hitler a part of Austria
18. Let a stranger into your house (make an exception if that stranger is a giant bipedal cat, and is wearing a red and white striped hat.)
19. Drink and drive
20. Drink and drive (This another one I felt compelled to add a second time after I read Misery)
21. Declare nuclear war
22. Declare war on America
23. Declare war on the UK
24. Declare war on North Korea
25. Declare war on Oceania
26. Declare war on Mordor
27. Declare war on Russia (Especially not in winter)
28. You know what? Declare war period
29. Sell your soul to the devil
30. Sell your soul to the internet
31. Sell your soul to corrupt mega-corporations
32. Sell your soul to the government
33. Sell your soul to a particular politician
34. Sell your soul on eBay
35. Sell your soul on Craigslist (special emphasis on this one)
36. Sell your soul to anyone else
37. Bet your soul in a game of poker
38. Walk through dark alleys
39. Ask Santa for the deed to his workshop for Christmas
40. Ask Santa for his reindeer for Christmas
41. Ask Santa for his bag for Christmas
42. Put sedatives in the cookies you leave Santa and steal his sleigh while he’s asleep
43. Refer to Thanksgiving as “The day where I get to gorge myself while waiting for Christmas” in public
44. Give your real name on the internet
45. Give your address on the internet
46. Give your phone number, email address, or other contact information on the internet
47. Give your “True Name” on the internet (Hey, you never know if a wizard might stumble across that information)
48. Play Jumanji
49. Say that it was just a cat when you hear a crashing noise outside
50. Not call the police when you’re chased by a man in a hockey mask, or someone equally monstrous